even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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