yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
