6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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