yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
did i just pee glitter
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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