Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My balls are so social today.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
