Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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