Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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