Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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