He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
