I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
