I think I died a long time ago.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
