check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well I just put wine in my tea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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