I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
