Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
