Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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