so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and she was petting her beer can
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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