Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
