hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Floor bacon is actually really good
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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