My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
