Have you finally orgasmed yet?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
