Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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