I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
