I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
