between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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