I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
