Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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