dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
