is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
