i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
