But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
