I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
