As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
