If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So here I am, sexting at work.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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