Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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