I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
