Fuck appropriateness.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
