It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
