I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
