2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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