Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
