What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They took my balls.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
