I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
