her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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