I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
