Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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