If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
