i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
