the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
