He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
