just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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