lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
