she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize